Man Of Iron (1981) Review

 

Man Of Iron can be enjoyably campy if you're in the right mood... or dead stupid if you're not. 

WRITTEN BY

Paul Darrow. There's a special kind of joy in reviewing a Darrow story, of entering his particular world of pulp theatrics, where British cynicism and irony mixes with American schoolboy naivete to produce a 'so bad it's good' goldmine. If there was a literary equivalent to Mystery Science Theater 3000, they'd be worshipping at Darrow's altar. 

PLOT

Avon travels to the planet Epsilon to assassinate the insane robotic engineer Algor for his crimes against humanity. Things quickly go wrong and he's captured, forcing Vila to take the Scorpio back to Xenon, where he has to persuade an indifferent crew to mount a rescue. Meanwhile, Avon stumbles onto an unholy alliance between Algor and Servalan... 

ANALYSIS

I found Man Of Iron to be one of the more palatable of Darrow's writings, perhaps because he was intentionally aiming for a more lighthearted tone with it. There's no Greek tragedy pastiche or Machiavellian prostitutes, for example. It's an action-heavy runaround with big robots, hammy villains and lots of outdoor scenery. Given the beach location, I wouldn't be half surprised if Darrow had been pining for a holiday when he wrote it. 

I did like the fact that he put a lot of effort into describing the terrain. Clearly, Man Of Iron was designed to look cinematic and not merely another quarry episode. The dialogue is hit and miss. Darrow's wit shines through on some of the oneliners, but a lot of it is also clunky and excessively unsubtle. 

Of course, you still have to suspend your disbelief at, well, everything, because the overarching stories themselves never really matter(or exist) in the Darrowverse. It's all about what's cool. Does it make any sense for Avon to just go to some planet to kill a random bad guy? No, but it's cool. Why does Vila have a pump action shotgun? Because it's cool. How and why does Avon do acrobatics over a bathtub when his hand is injured? IT'S COOL. Once you embrace that rule of thumb and accept the inherent shallowness of it all, it becomes rather endearing in an indulgent sort of the way. There's just something cute about knowing that Darrow had the artistic whims of a ten-year old. 

CHARACTERS

In a remarkable anomaly in Darrow's bibliography, Avon isn't the only capable hero there is. According to an interview with Darrow, he wanted to impress Michael Keating with a storyline that would show Vila in a good light. The result is a rather hilarious subplot, where Vila pulls a pump-action shotgun out from underneath a table and suddenly starts barking orders at the crew. It's the best part of the whole thing, especially because it also affects Tarrant's character. 

To push Vila to the point where he has to threaten people, Tarrant has to go to the other extreme and announce that he basically doesn't give a crap if Avon lives or dies, even if there's a chance of rescuing him. And it actually kinda works with his character, even if he's usually portrayed as being more altruistic. Similarly, Vila's panic over the thought of losing Avon makes sense in the context of a post-Cally world and there's even a reference to him knowing he's safe with Avon. Whether intentional or not, it's the strongest character work I've seen from Darrow. 

Of course, Avon is his usual Indiana Jones self, rushing from one fight scene to the next with customary flair. There's a nice scene between him and Servalan where she comments on how out of touch he's become, which I really would've liked to have seen on TV to validate Avon's development as an intentional arc and not merely an acting choice. Poor Servalan, though. She gets most of the worst lines, with clunkers like 

"Timing is of the utmost importance. Waste it, and you will cease to be of use to me."

"I am here to claim your greatest invention, an invention that will allow me to dominate the Universe."

 "I was going to say ‘Good night’, but it’s really ‘Goodbye’, isn’t it?"

A trend that would reoccur in Rock Star is Darrow's utter disinterest in Dayna's character. Whilst she's not bereft of lines like there, she is the designated teleport controller, and most of her scenes involve repetitive concern over the Scorpio's fuel reserves(which deplete ridiculously fast and power the entire ship, not just the engines apparently) and getting Slave to stop calling her 'mistress'. Riveting. Okay, actually, the Slave bits are kinda funny. 

Algor might be the most stereotypical mad scientist you can think of(he's basically Davros), but I did have fun imagining Brian Blessed or some other OTT actor wildly chewing the scenery off his pompous dialogue. The guy is such a nut that he's able to make evil a point of view and denounce any attempt to kill him as immoral in the same breath. He's also apparently Mengele, although we never see any evidence of this besides Avon's word. 

NOTES

*Man Of Iron is a script that Darrow wrote (presumably) in 1981, intended for Series D. It's backstory is somewhat vague - Darrow claimed it was rejected whilst script editor Chris Boucher said he never saw it in the first place. My personal theory is that he realised it was far too short(it's like half the length of an actual script, or two thirds at most), and never properly submitted it for the show, yet eventually still wanted some people to read it. Whatever the case, it's reportedly been popular to perform it at Blake's 7 conventions. 

*I was disappointed by the lack of double-sided Bowie knives with serrated edges. Darrow definitely slacked off on the blade action.

*Vila orders Slave to take the Scorpio on a course with right lateral thrusts. Wouldn't that just make the ship fly around in circles?

*I wonder if it ever occurred to Avon to send his resident gunslinger for an assassination job instead of risking his own neck? Perhaps not, given that somehow even Vila is faster on the draw in this story. Because he is a MAN, I guess.

*Okay, now let's talk about the fuel thing because it bugs the crap out of me. Obviously, the Scorpio is fuelled up when it's at Xenon Base. But then one trip to Epsilon, and it's immediately running low. However, Slave claims it has just enough fuel to make it back to Xenon - so logically, a fuelled up Scorpio would equal two trips. One there, one back. When it's at Epsilon, it should be at half tank then, yes? So why are the ship's lights already failing? Oh, and the obvious question of course... since when is Scorpio powered by GAS?!

*I'm not sure why Servalan tolerates Algor's posturing. Just take the robots and nuke him already. Hell, same goes for the crew. Teleport back to Scorpio, fire a few plasma bolts and go home. 

*I love how Servalan has enough initiative to suggest keeping Avon alive, but can't think of anything useful he could do. 

*So was Gabor blowing up in the water supposed to be the neutron bomb, or is that still sitting at the bottom of the sea? I guess it doesn't matter. Except that the universe-conquering army being defeated by a bit of moisture is insanely funny. 

*The fact that Darrow credits all the non-Gabor robots as 'Lesser Robots' in the script cracked me up. 

*I don't care what 'freak electronics' there is, Servalan's private communicator should not randomly broadcast through unrelated speakers on the planet.

*Having a large chunk of the story be based around an invincible robot that the crew are trying to kill feels rather derivative of Headhunter. I wonder if that's where he got the idea.

INFORMATION!

*Vila points out that him and Avon are now the only original members of Blake's crew, implying that the episode takes place not long after Rescue. 

*Soolin suggests that Vila doesn't feel safe without Avon, foreshadowing Orbit. 

*Algor and Servalan have clearly met before, and Servalan does not appear to resent him for knowing her identity. 

BEST QUOTE AVON QUOTE

"What will it profit you to kill an imbecile?"

CONCLUSION

MacGyver and cheese.