Friends (2020)

Author's Note: This fanmade episode is set between the Series D episodes "Orbit" and "Warlord".

1. SPACE

(The Scorpio orbits the planet Keiten One)

2. SCORPIO FLIGHT DECK

(The crew are at their stations. AVON, standing dominantly, observes Keiten One on the viewscreen)

SOOLIN: Orbital scan complete. I have the facility on my sights... no sign of Federation ships anywhere.

AVON: There wouldn't be, would there? Broadcasting the existence of a weapons development center might just attract some unsavoury attention. Such as ourselves. It's when they're expecting you that you have to tread carefully.

TARRANT: Speaking from experience or a case of great minds thinking alike?

AVON: Both. Which is why I'm not coming.

TARRANT: Hey, now wait a minute!

AVON: If what Orac says is true and the Keiten facility is the building site of the Federation's first intraphase neutron bomb, it is likely to be defended by a fairly complex and subtle defence system. I will stay here, monitor your progress and adapt to the situation as necessary. In short, I will direct this entire operation.

VILA: I still don't understand what makes this neutrobomb so special. I mean, the Federation's used neutron-based radiation for years, even on a planetwide scale. We've run into a few.

AVON: This one isn't intended for planetary use, but for space combat.

DAYNA: Radiation, to shoot at ships? The whole concept's absurd.

AVON: So many undiscovered concepts are absurd to a primitive mind. The new phasing technology will negate metal as an obstacle, even the classics such as lead and herculaneum.

DAYNA: But there's still the matter of directing the radiation, of properly containing it, of...

AVON: Must I have an answer for everything? The point is, that's what you can expect to find down there. And unless one day we want to melt down into pools of viscous liquid, our synapses screaming, you'd better go and do something about it.

(The crew leave their seats to collect their weapons and teleport bracelets)

SOOLIN: Thank you, Vila.

VILA: What did I do?

TARRANT: Oh, even less than usual. But for once, we're happy about it.

DAYNA: If you forget the protests and the drunken whinging in the future, we might bake you a cake.

(The crew step onto the teleport pad)

VILA: (stopping briefly) You know, on second thought, maybe I could have that cake early?

(AVON shakes his head and points towards the teleport pad. Once VILA is set, he operates the controls.)

AVON: I'll see you around.

(The crew teleport away, leaving AVON as the only person onboard the ship)

AVON: Slave.

SLAVE: How can I be of assistance, your eminence?

AVON: Take the ship out of orbit and engage coordinates 3-7-14, Time Distort 9. We're leaving.

3. SPACE

(The Scorpio leaves Keiten One behind.)

4. KEITEN ONE, WASTELANDS

(The surface of Keiten One is a series of miserable grey dunes of rock and dust. TARRANT, DAYNA, SOOLIN and VILA teleport down, their figures silhouetted against the harsh white light of the sun. TARRANT looks around and notices the Keiten facility in the distance. It is the only building as far as the eye can see, and a monolith compared to everything else visible.)

TARRANT: Get down!

(The crew all duck behind one of the dunes. DAYNA pulls out a pair of space binoculars and observes the facility.)

VILA: One of these days, I'm gonna ask Servalan why she puts all her secret projects on the worst dustballs in the universe.

TARRANT: Probably to dissuade our adventurous spirit. (to Dayna) Can you see anything?

(We get a POV shot of the facility through Dayna's binoculars. Numbers, measuring lines, all that jazz. The facility itself is imposing, but lacks much detail – a giant block of metal with an empty landing pad for spaceships on top.)

DAYNA: (vo) There's a landing pad, but no ship on it.

(She zooms in, and we see a small, sealed entrance. There are no handles on the doorway, merely a silver metal plate attached to it where the lock should be.)

DAYNA: (vo) I can't see any guards around. Or anyone, for that matter. There's one entrance visible from here.

(DAYNA lowers her binoculars and passes them around.)

SOOLIN: All the busy bees must be at work. No surveillance cameras?

DAYNA: I suppose they could be concealed.

(TARRANT thinks for a moment, then speaks into his teleport bracelet.)

TARRANT: Scorpio, come in. Avon, respond please.

(Silence. The group shares looks of confusion.)

TARRANT: Avon, can you hear me? This is Tarrant. (he waits a few seconds, then turns to the others.) Try yours.

VILA: Avon? Avon, have you gone on holiday without us?

DAYNA: Scorpio, this is Dayna. Answer please. Scorpio?

SOOLIN: Scorpio, if you're picking up this transmission, acknowledge that you're there.

(There is no response.)

SOOLIN: Perhaps there's some atmospheric interference?

VILA: Perhaps.

TARRANT: (into the teleport bracelet) Avon, if you can hear me, we're going to proceed to the Keiten facility. Tarrant out. (to the others) Alright, here's the plan: we go in pairs. Dayna, Soolin, you'll cover me and Vila as we get to the entrance. Once we're inside, it'll be your responsibility to find the transmitter controls and use them to get back in touch with Scorpio. Vila and I will find the base's generator and set it to overload. You won't have more than an half an hour, so make it count.

DAYNA: What happens if we run into trouble?

TARRANT: We won't give each other up. Let's just hope Avon's got us covered.

VILA: And for a cool grade-A adrenaline and soma with a slice of pomelo while we're at it.

SOOLIN: Shut up, Vila.

(The crew split up as per TARRANT's instructions and approach the facility from two directions.)

5. KEITEN ONE FACILITY, ENTRANCE

(DAYNA and SOOLIN run to the facility from the side and circle it, finding nothing and nobody apart from the eerie, empty desert. They meet up with VILA and TARRANT at the front. VILA pulls out an instrument and begins scanning the metal plate on the door.)

DAYNA: We checked, there's nobody about.

TARRANT: Well, if we haven't triggered an alarm yet, we're about to.

VILA: Look at that! This is a magnetic lock!

TARRANT: Can you get it open?

VILA: That's just it! It's one of the easiest locks in the galaxy. All you've got to do is reverse the polarity. Might as well just twist the knob. This lock's got no business being out here.

(VILA uses the instrument on the door again, and it slides open compliantly. DAYNA and SOOLIN enter first, followed by TARRANT and VILA.)

6. KEITEN ONE FACILITY, MAIN CORRIDOR, GROUND FLOOR

(The group wanders through a dark, depressing corridor that doesn't appear to be used very often. A pathetic, crumbling Federation logo is emblazoned on the wall. TARRANT motions for DAYNA and SOOLIN to go through an intersecting corridor as he and VILA proceed onwards. At the end of the main corridor is a small room with dry, dead potted plants and an elevator between them. They step in and TARRANT presses a button. No response.)

TARRANT: You don't suppose Orac might've been wrong about this place?

(A small electronic whine is heard. VILA smacks his chest in annoyance.)

VILA: Sorry. I missed lunch. Told you we should've gone for the cake first.

TARRANT: Is there anything you can do about this elevator, Vila?

VILA: Well, actually...

(VILA breaks his door opener instrument into two, and pulls some wiring out of his pocket to attach to the instrument's bottom half, which he then connects to the elevator.)

VILA: I might be able to fire up a few circuits.

(The lights in the elevator flicker on, casting long shadows across the miserable corridor. TARRANT pushes the button again. After a loud creak, the elevator begins a very slow descent.)

TARRANT: I pressed up. Oh, forget it.

(TARRANT unplugs VILA's wiring and throws it away with a shower of sparks, instantly stopping the elevator. He then climbs back out and pulls VILA out after himself.)

TARRANT: We'll just have to climb up the shaft.

VILA: Are you mad? We don't even know what floor the generator will be on... you said half an hour!

TARRANT: And since I tasked myself with taking out the generator, I'm also in position to change the rules. Now come on!

(TARRANT climbs onto the elevator in the shaft, and gets on a ladder. VILA follows him begrudgingly.)

7. KEITEN ONE FACILITY, LIVING QUARTERS, GROUND FLOOR

(SOOLIN and DAYNA come up to a pair of revolving doors with windows on them. They nod to each other and then burst through the doors to find a set of utilitarian living areas, with bunk beds, sinks, tables, chairs. It is decrepit and covered in a layer of dust, the amount of which makes the two women cough.)

DAYNA: Something is very wrong here. This is either a trap, or worse, a waste of time.

(SOOLIN kicks a cracked jug with her foot)

SOOLIN: There's nothing on this floor. Let's try the others.

8. KEITEN ONE FACILITY, ELEVATOR SHAFT

(A heavily breathing VILA stops climbing, and pulls out his door opener instrument.)

VILA: Tarrant, stop!

(A less tired TARRANT halts.)

TARRANT: What?

VILA: My lockpick's equipped with a short-range power detector. Maybe we can use it to try and pick up the generator. Or any source of power in this place, if there is one.

(VILA switches it on, but nothing happens. He looks at its bottom and remembers he dismantled part of it.)

VILA: Oh. Maybe not.

(Disappointed, VILA throws the useless gadget over his shoulder. It clatters down the shaft past DAYNA and SOOLIN far below, and clunks loudly against the elevator's ceiling at the bottom. After a brief moment, an alarm begins to wail and a red light illuminates the shaft. VILA is happy.)

VILA: Tarrant! I found power!

(Suddenly, a strong torrent of air begins blasting through the shaft.)

TARRANT: Move!

9. KEITEN ONE FACILITY, FOURTH FLOOR, MAIN CORRIDOR

(Using her strength, DAYNA forces the elevator doors open from the inside and pulls herself and SOOLIN out of the shaft as the wind whips them both. Briefly exhausted, they both collapse onto the floor, but get up almost immediately.)

DAYNA: If that wasn't Vila, I'll never fire a gun again.

(SOOLIN notices a map on the wall, where the rooms on the fourth floor are clearly labelled. One of the titles is 'COMMUNICATIONS ROOM'.)

SOOLIN: Luck may still be on our side. Look! We're in the right place. The transmitter controls must be there!

DAYNA: There's still no guards. Not one.

10. KEITEN ONE FACILITY, TWELFTH FLOOR, MAINTENANCE AREA

(TARRANT and VILA find themselves in a vast cathedral-sized space filled with cobwebbed machinery and piping, only illuminated by the recurring red flashes of the alarm. Their footsteps echo as they hurry around.)

TARRANT: I don't understand. Nothing is working here. Even if it was a matter of just keeping those alarm lights on, there should be some power feeding through.

(VILA pats TARRANT and points across a gantry. Over there, a small power generator with blinking lights is sitting on a dusty wooden table, tied to the wall by cabling. The two cross the gantry and get to the table.)

TARRANT: This? It's a trap of some sort, it must be. (into his teleport bracelet) Avon, do you read me? Avon, if you're listening, there's nothing in this place beyond a mere portable generator. Certainly no weapons of mass destruction being produced. Can you teleport us up? (Silence.) Damn it! (back into the bracelet again) Dayna, Soolin, come in.

SOOLIN: (vo) We read you.

TARRANT: I think it might be best if we get out of here.

11. KEITEN ONE FACILITY, FOURTH FLOOR, COMMUNICATIONS ROOM

(DAYNA and SOOLIN stand outside a pair of large metal doors.)

SOOLIN: (into her bracelet) Understood. We're just gonna check on one more thing, then we'll head for the ground floor. Out. (to DAYNA) Ready?

(DAYNA nods. The two of them blast the door open and DAYNA kicks it to reveal the first lively room in the facility. It contains one half of a bunk bed, a table with some unfinished food and drink on it as well as several electronic board games, a set of shelves clearly not designed to be there, all filled with mismatched books. There's a large viewscreen on the opposite side of the room that shines bright, and consoles lining the wall underneath it, with a comfortable armchair in front of them. The brightness of the viewscreen briefly stuns DAYNA and SOOLIN, allowing for the room's inhabitant RAIG to slap the guns from their hands.)

DAYNA: No!

(All three jump towards the guns, and because of that, none of them reach any.)

RAIG: You're on Federation property! Damned pirates!

(RAIG grabs his armchair and tosses it towards the women, followed by his plate of food and drink. SOOLIN jumps onto the table and onto RAIG, the latter barely managing to keep standing. He tries to pry SOOLIN loose and bumps her against the bookshelves, causing several to fall on both their heads.

SOOLIN: Dayna, get him!

(DAYNA holds up the gun, but is unable to get a clear shot due to the two constantly moving around. Irritated, she pushes them both onto the ground and then shoots RAIG in the leg. As he screams, she helps SOOLIN up and gives her the second gun.)

DAYNA: (into the teleport bracelet) Tarrant, Vila, get to the fourth floor. We've got something.

12. KEITEN ONE FACILITY, FOURTH FLOOR, COMMUNICATIONS ROOM

(The brightness of the viewscreen has been turned down, and it now displays a camera feed of the outside. RAIG is now tied up and sitting on the armchair. As we finally get a good look at him, we see that he's a Federation soldier in his 30s, with good looks, but signs of laziness. His hair is uncut and he has stubble on his face. His uniform is crumpled and threadbare. Both DAYNA and SOOLIN are holding guns near to his face, clearly enjoying this. VILA is checking over the console. TARRANT is looking down on the prisoner.)

TARRANT: Now, as one is prone to say in this situation, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. Where are the rest of your troops? And where are you concealing the neutron bomb?

RAIG: The what?

TARRANT: According to our information, Keiten One is used by the Federation to devise and build new weapons of mass destruction. Are you saying we're wrong?

(RAIG bursts into brief laughter, until SOOLIN punches him with the butt of her gun.)

SOOLIN: Answer the question, or I'll bruise your whole handsome face up. And I can make it very permanent.

RAIG: No doubt. Your information is dead wrong. Keiten One is and as far as my knowledge goes, always has been, nothing more than a relay point for the Federation this side of the galaxy.

VILA: He's right. Look.

(TARRANT glances at a small monitor on the console, displaying the entire solar system.)

VILA: The Scorpio is gone.

TARRANT: But it can't be! Are you sure these instruments are reading correctly?

VILA: I don't need the instruments to know.

DAYNA: None of this makes any sense! (to RAIG) Why is the base abandoned? Where are the rest of your troops?

RAIG: Recalled, of course. President Servalan's orders. Every available man was to return to Earth after the Galactic War depleted the fleet. So we drew lots. I lost. I stayed, with minimal power and instructions to wait for my replacement in six months' time. That was two years ago. Oh, they still call in from time to time of course, whenever they need something from this sector of the galaxy. But I'm sure the entire pantry will be empty before they come back. And if your ship isn't, well...

(TARRANT, SOOLIN and DAYNA look at each other in despair.)

VILA: It will.

TARRANT: What makes you so sure?

(VILA pulls a little plastic box out of his jacket's inner pocket. It is a miniaturized ORAC.)

DAYNA: Is that what I think it is?

SOOLIN: Vila!

(The little thief smiles victoriously and puts ORAC onto the table, where it resumes its original size.)

VILA: Didn't we ever mention it can do that? I saw right through him. Avon, I mean. Yes...

13. XENON BASE, LIVING QUARTERS

(In a flashback, we see the regular lounging area in Xenon Base, now dimly lit. AVON, less dressed than usual, sneaks inside, wearing slippers to avoid making too much noise. Unseen by him, VILA is slumped behind a wall, clutching an empty bottle.)

VILA: (vo) Just a few nights ago, after everyone else had gone to sleep, I happened to be doing a few bedtime exercises when I saw Avon wandering about. That piqued my interest! So with my practiced skills of stealth, I followed him and observed intently.

(VILA's slumber is disturbed by AVON's presence, and he opens one tired eye. AVON places ORAC's key onto the lock, activating the computer.)

AVON: Orac, you've proven yourself to have a decent understanding of the Federation's inner workings. How good are you with the criminal underworld?

ORAC: Decent as in acceptable is inaccurate. I have a perfect understanding of the Federation's inner workings, as well as that of any lawbreaking cartel in the galaxy. Now get to the point and ask me what you need. This human obsession with avoiding the important things is frankly impos-

AVON: Alright, alright. Don't get your proverbial knickers in a twist, Orac. I want to know if you'd be able to find some place I could recruit highly skilled impartial professionals in every criminal field of my choosing.

ORAC: Is that all? I woe for the inadequacy of the human brain to computate substantial questions.

AVON: As I woe for the inadequacy of yours to computate an unaggravating answer.

ORAC: I suppose it's futile to protest against something that can't be helped. Very well. The nearest such location would be a space station identified as 'the Honeycomb', on coordinates 3-7-14 on the galactic map. Not that it exists on any official galactic map. You would also require a personalized code supplied by another member of the cartels involved with the Honeycomb Station. I can provide a forgery.

AVON: Thank you, Orac. My one dependable companion. Oh, I reek of sentiment tonight. Get to work.

(AVON pulls the key on ORAC and leaves. VILA, by this time fully awake and frightened, stands up, wobbling slightly. He checks the door and then returns to the table and replants the key.)

VILA: Thanks for not telling him I was there.

ORAC: It had nothing to do with the query Avon presented me. Your interpersonal relationships are about as far away from my interest as-

VILA: Yes, yes, I get the point. Big universe questions are what you're worried about, and probably still would be if the roof fell in. Look, I've got a query of my own. Can you still turn yourself small like you did back when we went to see Freedom City?

ORAC: Of course I can! My functions, unlike yours, do not diminish over time from lack of use.

VILA: Then I've got an idea.

14. KEITEN ONE FACILITY, FOURTH FLOOR, COMMUNICATIONS ROOM

(flashback ends, everyone are as we saw them before)

DAYNA: But why? If you knew Avon was trying to replace us with so-called professionals all along, why didn't you just tell us and save us the trip?

VILA: Well, I didn't know for sure. Not really. And even if I had, I would've still done things the same way.

TARRANT: Why?

VILA: Orac. Avon can't risk continuing without it. When he gets back to Xenon and realises it's gone... he'll come crawling back to us. My little payback for that stunt on Egrorian's shuttle.

TARRANT: Yes, well, unlike you Vila, I don't intend to wait around for sweet justice. Dayna, see if you can raise Scorpio on the base's transmitter and get that idiot to come back.

DAYNA: Right.

SOOLIN: (about RAIG) What do we do with this one?

TARRANT: I don't care. Stuff him someplace or throw him outside.

SOOLIN: Or shoot him?

TARRANT: Feeling vicious?

SOOLIN: Hmm, maybe not.

(SOOLIN drags RAIG out of the room with her.)

15. SPACE

(The Scorpio is docked at the Honeycomb Station along with many other ships. Honeycomb Station is, as the name implies, built out of outwardly hexagonal structures that look like they can be separated for independent function at any point.)

16. HONEYCOMB STATION, QUEEN'S OFFICE

(AVON is following an UNDERLING to the QUEEN's office. He opens the door for AVON.)

UNDERLING: Our Queen is expecting you.

(The ostentatious title surprises AVON)

AVON: Thank you.

(The QUEEN's office is bathed in a sickly yellow light emanating from the walls themselves. In the center is an office table and an advanced wheelchair, which turns around to reveal the QUEEN herself, a frightfully old and flamboyantly dressed frail near-corpse covered in liver spots and a few greasy grey locks on her scalp. Two shaky hands with disgusting curled yellow nails meet.)

QUEEN: Kerr Avon. I'd been hoping to see you before I finally rotted to the core.

AVON: I'm afraid your reputation does not precede you.

QUEEN: Nor should it. Unlike you, I was always the hedonist, never the artist. I have no name to give you. Simply refer to me as the Queen of this place. Let's talk about why you're finally here.

AVON: I need a new crew. Professional, impartial, there to obey my commands and fulfil their designated functions like loaded dice. I have a list of requirements here.

(AVON hands the QUEEN a piece of paper.)

QUEEN: Oh. What did you do to your old crew?

AVON: Let's just say I broke it and leave it at that. Now I want a new one. And a better one.

QUEEN: Almost a pity. Tales of you and your crew's glorious incompetence sent a few of my colleagues into fits of laughter. Those heart attacks were very convenient. Still, one would eventually tire of being the only intellectual in the room.

AVON: Shall we get on with it? Or must I produce Vila's greatest hits?

QUEEN: Loyalty and ability together will cost you plenty. I'm not sure you have the credits for it.

AVON: I'll see the merchandise before I make that judgment.

(The QUEEN stares AVON down for a few moments. Suddenly, part of a wall fades away into nothingness to reveal a secret passage. AVON is visibly surprised.)

QUEEN: Be my guest, Avon.

(AVON heads into the passage, which disappears and is replaced by the wall as before. A signal blares in the QUEEN's office, and she presses a button on her chair to open a communications channel.)

LUNA: (vo) My lady?

QUEEN: I'm here.

LUNA: (vo) I've just boarded the Scorpio. The ship's onboard computer is neutralized.

QUEEN: Excellent, excellent! Stay put. This should be fun.

LUNA: (vo) Yes, my lady.

17. HONEYCOMB STATION, ARENA

(AVON emerges between the rows of an unlit, empty arena, big enough to echo. The door behind him disappears without a trace, disturbing him. Alert as ever, he draws his pistol and stalks around the seats.)

AVON: Your highness? Anyone?

(Irritated, AVON walks up to the stage. Suddenly, the arena comes to life, blinding him with light. A crowd of aging rich people materialise onto the seats out of thin air, filling the air with inane conversation.)

AVON: What the hell is going on here?!

(The voice of an unseen commentator booms across the arena.)

COMMENTATOR: (vo) Ladies, gentlemen, deviations of every kind! What we have here today is one fine specimen of a space renegade. The master of computers, the connoisseur of bank robberies and we have it on good money that he was once the personal chewtoy of the notorious Servalan!

(Angered, AVON attempts to leave the stage, only to be bounced back by an invisible force field.)

AVON: What are you playing at, "my Queen"?! I have the credits to make my purchase, I can prove it!

COMMENTATOR: (vo) There's the feistiness for you, folks! Don't want a predator like this running loose, do we? And his opponent!

(STRATOX strolls out from the crowd in a jovial mood. He is a middle-aged brute dressed in wolf skins. Despite his barbaric appearance, he keeps his hands clasped behind his back like a gentleman.)

COMMENTATOR: (vo) The Plague of the Three Systems, cursed with a cannibal taste for human flesh! Also the parent of 25 happy children!

(A whole section of kids cheer. STRATOX bows for the audience.)

STRATOX: Pleasure to be here!

COMMENTATOR: Now these two titans of the cosmos, these monsters with no limit of depravity will enter personal combat for your very personal viewing pleasure. Let the match begin!

(Resigned to his fate, AVON confronts STRATOX and tries to simply shoot him, but his gun jams. Using it as a distraction instead, AVON flings it in his face, only for STRATOX to deflect it easily with his arm. As STRATOX comes for him, AVON uses his greater agility to get behind the burly man and tackle him from the back, trying to choke him. STRATOX shoves him off as if he were a mere insect. AVON hurries to his feet and tries to punch STRATOX, only for the latter to grab ahold of his fist and crush it within his own. AVON drops to his knees in pain and STRATOX releases him and kicks him in the chest with amusement. No sweat on his back.)

AVON: This is a waste of my time, and yours.

STRATOX: Really? I thought I did rather well.

AVON: We are not an even match.

STRATOX: So, you admit I'm a strong henchman.

AVON: You'd put Goliath to shame. What of it?

(Grinning, STRATOX turns to the audience.)

STRATOX: Finished!

(The holographic audience dissipates, and a wall opens up on the far side of the arena to reveal a corridor. STRATOX picks up AVON's gun from the floor and gives it back to him. AVON stands up.)

AVON: Of course. A demonstration.

STRATOX: Our Queen believes in first-hand experience.

AVON: Why the fake crowd?

STRATOX: Oh, the crowd's very real. We of the Honeycomb glean entertainment where we can get it. My children live a few spacecells away from here. They'll be happy to hear I've found new employment. That is, if my credentials satisfy.

AVON: Well, the bruises speak for themselves. But between you and me, you had the easy job. There's musclemen to spare. What I want to see is how her highness matches the more intricate skills of my old crew – namely robbery, gunplay and piloting.

(STRATOX laughs and directs AVON to the entrance of the next room.)

18. KEITEN ONE FACILITY, ENTRANCE

(Two lounge chairs have been placed on the sand field in front of the Keiten facility doorway. One is occupied by the prisoner RAIG, still tied up and uncomfortable. On the other rests SOOLIN, smoking a cigar and taking in the extremely bright sun. A gun sits on her lap.)

SOOLIN: What's your name, trooper?

RAIG: Does it matter?

SOOLIN: Now there's insecurity for you.

RAIG: It's Raig. Corporal Raig. I was a member of the Seventh Expansion Fleet. We came out the furthest in the galaxy.

SOOLIN: Oh, very impressive. And then the War came.

RAIG: Yes. I wish I could've fought in it.

SOOLIN: I fought in it. Imagine that – a devilish little space pirate did more to save the human race than a tough mighty trooper like you. (she laughs)

RAIG: I did my duty!

SOOLIN: Who cares? You didn't make a difference.

RAIG: Why does one have to make a difference? We can't all be kings and queens.

SOOLIN: I thought that was the whole point of the Federation. To tell us what we can and can't do.

RAIG: There has to be order.

SOOLIN: And justice? Like the one that's led us both to be sitting on this pointless planet?

(RAIG has no response. Disgusted, SOOLIN throws her cigar away. She stands up.)

SOOLIN: The Federation left you here to waste away. You don't matter to them. You don't matter to us. At least matter to yourself.

19. KEITEN ONE FACILITY, FOURTH FLOOR, COMMUNCATIONS ROOM

(DAYNA is operating the console. VILA is sleeping on RAIG's bed. TARRANT is looking over the book collection.)

DAYNA: I think I've got something!

VILA: About time.

(TARRANT walks over to check DAYNA's readings.)

TARRANT: Well, that matches Scorpio's signature. Send a signal, open a channel.

(DAYNA clicks a few buttons.)

DAYNA: You're on.

TARRANT: This is Tarrant. Avon, are you there? Respond.

(Dead silence. TARRANT, DAYNA and VILA exchange worried looks.)

TARRANT: Slave, answer me.

(DAYNA checks her instruments.)

DAYNA: There's no response. They're receiving, but there's nothing.

VILA: He's already programmed Slave to ignore us.

(TARRANT switches the microphone off and sits down in a chair, tired.)

VILA: Well, what do we do?!

DAYNA: I could perform a general sweep of the area for spaceships, send out a distress signal?

TARRANT: No, no. That would send an automatic alert to the Federation. Vila, you've got the key, ask Orac.

VILA: Good idea.

(VILA sets the key on ORAC, switching the computer on.)

VILA: Orac, how do we get off this planet without the help of the Scorpio?

ORAC: Taking into account the length of time I've operated on behalf of this crew without fail, there is no need to test my abilities with elementary level questions.

VILA: There's a ship that can take us? With no risk?

ORAC: There is.

TARRANT: Then get it to come here. Once it arrives, we will commandeer it and leave the crew behind. The Federation can sort them out.

20. EARTH, BEACH

(A doorway materialises onto an ordinary flat pebble-covered beachline. AVON and STRATOX emerge. AVON is tense and analyses his surroundings. STRATOX is cheerful and unconcerned.)

STRATOX: Lovely! It's just like Earth!

AVON: And probably as deadly.

STRATOX: What's there to fear? It's obviously another demonstration.

AVON: If I were to die, the Honeycomb inherits my ship. I have to prove that I'm at least more valuable than that. You may want to hide. You're not likely to be a target.

STRATOX: The Plague of the Three Systems does not cower. Besides, if you die, I can have your liver for supper. (he smiles, revealing a set of sharpened teeth, which he then clacks for emphasis)

AVON: (smiling back) Alright.

(The two start walking until they come across a derelict lighthouse)

STRATOX: So what do you suppose this demonstration is?

AVON: Wide terrain here. Close quarters in there. Plenty of variety for sharpshooting, I'd say.

(AVON draws his gun and motions for STRATOX to run after him onto the steps leading up to the gaping hole where the door used to be.)

AVON: Stay behind me.

(AVON and STRATOX sneak into the building.)

21. EARTH, LIGHTHOUSE INTERIOR

(The interior of the lighthouse is strewn with computer machinery. A fairly large planar disk antenna attached on the roof is visible through cracks in the ceiling. In the middle of the room is a cushioned seat surrounded by screens mounted on the walls, and a joystick attached to both armrests.)

AVON: It's a Federation contact point!

STRATOX: A what?

AVON: They were built over a century ago on the Central Worlds, equipped with the most advanced antenna systems ever devised! Scattered around the globe in concealed locations! Should all contact points broadcast an audio signal simultaneously, then in theory, in the utmost emergency, they could combine to form a sonar field that would envelop the planet.

(STRATOX shakes his head, completely lost. Outside, the light gradually dims.)

AVON: (frustrated by his companion's slow mind) That amount of power, controlled by one unified will, that could thin and thicken the field of sound as they see fit! It'd be enough to move the planet out of orbit! Don't you see, Stratox? This is the piloting test!

(AVON points outside, where we see a solar eclipse)

AVON: And there is our opponent!

(He jumps into the chair, causing the systems to activate, blinking lights all over the place. The screens all activate to display astronomical maps, and one very large blot heading towards the dot marked central.)

STRATOX: Is he driving another planet?

AVON: No, something rather more complicated!

STRATOX: Like what, the sun?!

AVON: Don't be ridiculous. He's controlling an asteroid field.

STRATOX: Oh.

AVON: You'd better find a table to crawl under.

22. SPACE

(A small hospital shuttle approaches Keiten One)

23. KEITEN ONE FACILITY, ENTRANCE

(RAIG and SOOLIN observe the hospital ship's descent through the atmosphere. RAIG recognises it.)

RAIG: Space pirates who attack medics. And you think you're better than me?

SOOLIN: (shocked) What?

24. KEITEN ONE FACILITY, FOURTH FLOOR, COMMUNICATIONS ROOM

(TARRANT, VILA and DAYNA all stare at the viewscreen in disbelief. Nearly frothing at the mouth in fury, VILA turns to ORAC.)

VILA: You stupid blockhead, you've brought us a hospital ship!

ORAC: It was within the parameters you set for me.

TARRANT: We can't wait for another ship. We'll have to take this one.

VILA: But they're medics. That's one of the rules you never break.

TARRANT: You have no moral qualms against doing this, Vila.

VILA: I don't?

DAYNA: No. You don't.

VILA: Oh, well that's alright then.

TARRANT: (into his wrist bracelet) Soolin? Is that Federation officer there with you?

25. KEITEN ONE FACILITY, ENTRANCE

SOOLIN: (into her bracelet) Yes, he's here.

TARRANT: (vo) Good. Ask him if there's a sickbay somewhere in this place, and make sure he gives the right answer.

SOOLIN: (into her bracelet) Alright.

(SOOLIN pushes her gun against RAIG's left temple)

SOOLIN: Hmm?

RAIG: (nervously) According to the schematics, there is one on the second floor, but I couldn't tell you about its condition, I've never had to go there. That is the truth!

SOOLIN: (smiles) Did you hear that?

TARRANT: (vo) Loud and clear. You'd better meet us on the landing platform.

26. KEITEL ONE FACILITY, FOURTH FLOOR, COMMUNICATIONS ROOM

SOOLIN: (vo) I'll be there. Soolin out.

DAYNA: I'll take Orac and see what I can make of the place. Hopefully, it can hold whatever patients they have until they get another ship.

(DAYNA picks ORAC up and leaves the room.)

TARRANT: Come on, Vila. They're a hospital ship, they'll probably have something medicinal onboard.

VILA: (excitedly) You think so?

27. KEITEL ONE FACILITY, ENTRANCE

SOOLIN: What about you?

RAIG: What about me?

SOOLIN: You'll be the nice Federation officer who helps all those doctors and patients get back home, won't you? And then dream on for a commendation that'll never come.

RAIG: What more could I possibly accomplish with you?

SOOLIN: I don't know. But it'll be your decision. That's the least I can offer.

(RAIG stands up and presents his tied hands to SOOLIN.)

RAIG: Then I suppose the least I can offer is gratitude.

(SOOLIN gives RAIG a long hard look, but finally pulls out a knife to cut his bonds loose.)

SOOLIN: Do your best.

(She turns around to walk back into the facility. RAIG immediately tries to use the rope in his hands as a garrote and wraps it around SOOLIN's throat, choking her.)

28. KEITEL ONE FACILITY, TOP FLOOR, LANDING PLATFORM

(VILA and TARRANT stand on top of the facility. The hospital ship has landed and a ramp is being extended. A doctor emerges. VILA and TARRANT approach them.)

DOCTOR: What can we do for you?

(VILA and TARRANT share a look and then draw their guns on the man.)

TARRANT: Vila.

VILA: Yes, Tarrant?

TARRANT: Go inside, and get everybody out here. Tell them that unless they comply, Dr... ?

DOCTOR: Bagman.

TARRANT: Doctor Bagman will be hurt.

VILA: Right.

(VILA runs into the ship.)

29. HOSPITAL SHIP INTERIOR

(The ship's walls are lined with beds, a few of which have patients on them. A group of five nurses are tending them.)

VILA: Everybody out!

NURSE: I beg your pardon?

VILA: Don't make this harder than it has to be, love. I've got a gun. There's another man outside who's got a gun. And it's pointing at your doctor! So, could you... you know... shuffle these beds out or something?

NURSE: They're not designed to 'shuffle' out. These patients need constant attention, they cannot be moved.

VILA: Err. Hold that thought.

(VILA runs out to TARRANT and BAGMAN)

30. KEITEL ONE FACILITY, TOP FLOOR, LANDING PLATFORM

TARRANT: Well?

VILA: They say they've got patients that can't move.

TARRANT: They're about to have a doctor who can't move! Vila, this is a hijack, not a trip to the market! Get them out here!

(VILA runs back inside the ship.)

31. HOSPITAL SHIP INTERIOR

VILA: We're really very keen, I'm sorry. We've got to take this ship. But I hear the facilities here are quite nice.

(The nurses begrudingly start helping their patients up and off the ramp.)

VILA: (relieved) That's more like it. Nothing personal. I'll pay a good tip if I ever need help, and that's a promise!

32. KEITEL ONE FACILITY, TOP FLOOR, LANDING PLATFORM

(SOOLIN emerges on the platform and approaches TARRANT and the rest of the group.)

SOOLIN: Which one of you is in charge here?

BAGMAN: That would be me.

SOOLIN: You'll find a sickbay for these people on the second floor. There'll be another patient there waiting for you. I believe he's in critical condition by now.

(TARRANT raises an eyebrow at SOOLIN, who smiles enigmatically.)

33. EARTH, LIGHTHOUSE INTERIOR

(AVON observes the screen in deep concentration. STRATOX is lying on the floor, his hands clasped over the back of his neck as if expecting a blast to hit close any minute now. The room is dimmed – the colourful flashes from the screen light AVON's face. Eventually, he relaxes and the eclipse ends. STRATOX, noticing that everything has stopped, looks up.)

STRATOX: Did we win?

AVON: (smirking) A few continents might be missing. If this was real. Of course, it's nothing more than an advanced simulation.

STRATOX: So there was no threat at all?

AVON: Let's ask our opponent.

(AVON flicks a switch, and the image of a redheaded beauty in an unknown uniform appears on the screen. She is FEYN.)

AVON: My congratulations. There's very few people with the concentration and skill to control the movements of one asteroid, let alone a whole lot of them.

FEYN: Thank you very much, skipper. You're not so bad yourself. You even kept Australia.

AVON: Quite, quite. My friend here was rather curious to know whether or not the simulation was capable of killing us.

FEYN: Oh, I'm not sure if I should say...

(AVON pouts.)

FEYN: (rolling her eyes) Not blow you up, no. But every cell in the Honeycomb can open up to outer space. Had you lost control over the sonar field, you would've been simply been ejected, allowing us to claim the Scorpio.

AVON: (no longer amused) Very devious.

FEYN: I'll join you in a minute.

AVON: There is no need. You can meet me at the Scorpio once I'm finished. And I will finish.

FEYN: (vo) Not another word, skipper.

(AVON and STRATOX turn around to find FEYN at the door to the lighthouse)

FEYN: One for all and all for one, or no one at all.

AVON: I see. Well, that's what I get for asking loyalty.

(AVON deactivates the communication screen and climbs out of the seat.)

AVON: Come along, we haven't got all day. Let's see how they try to kill me next.

STRATOX: You know, my mother used to say: there's no such thing as getting old. Life's just a matter of accumulating experiences.

AVON: The point?

STRATOX: You're getting old.

(AVON, STRATOX and FEYN walk out of the lighthouse...)

34. ARMOURY

(... and into a small armoury room, with a wide variety of rifles, pistols and bombs stacked on shelves. The door behind them appears shut, as if it was never open. The two stare at the advanced weaponry in awe.)

FEYN: Fantastic!

STRATOX: No mysteries here.

AVON: But far too many variables for my liking. Bullets and energy bolts. Tear gas and acid. Flamethrower and liquid nitrogen disperser. If our enemy is as ridiculously equipped as we are, then winning becomes a matter of luck, not skill.

FEYN: It's no use complaining about it.

AVON: Unless distracting us with fancy gadgetry is the intent!

(AVON throws away his pistol.)

STRATOX: What are you doing now?!

AVON: Counting on beginner's luck. (pushes the door open to reveal a stormy forest in the middle of the night)

STRATOX: You can't go out there with nothing!

AVON: Then bring something.

(AVON walks out into the rain. Frustrated, STRATOX and FEYN give wistful looks at the weaponry and then follow AVON unarmed.)

35. DARK AND STORMY NIGHT

(Lightning bolts briefly light up the woods, as well as the faces of STRATOX, FEYN and AVON. The doorway disappears behind them.)

AVON: (yelling over thunder) Ion storm! If we'd taken anything from in there, we'd have been vaporized!

FEYN: (also yelling) How are we supposed to have a shootout without something to shoot with?!

(AVON shrugs and motions for STRATOX and FEYN to follow him. The three of them run through the swampy forest until they arrive at an empty clearing, at which point they duck behind a rock and under a tree branch that partially covers them from the spattering of rain.)

AVON: I'm open to suggestions.

STRATOX: This may seem hard to believe, but tactics aren't really my forte.

FEYN: I work in the air, not on the ground.

AVON: I don't care, come up with something.

STRATOX: We could always try copying the opposing side.

AVON: Cheat our way out?

STRATOX: Unless you believe in fair play.

AVON: No, I'm just impressed you came up with a good idea. Let's push on.

(AVON, STRATOX and FEYN hurry across the clearing and up a hill to high ground, where they have a better vantage point.)

STRATOX: Do you see anything?

AVON: Yes.

(We see another hill in the distance, with a very tall, narrow, clearly manmade structure built out of tree trunks on top of it. A small figure is moving around it.)

FEYN: I don't understand.

AVON: Neither do I. Its design almost suggests... no, that can't be it.

STRATOX: What?

AVON: No, it's absurd.

STRATOX: What?

AVON: Well, at first I thought it might be a lightning pole of some kind - literally attracting the electrical power of the storm and directing it towards us as a primitive kind of energy weapon. But wood is not conductive. So the structure loses purpose. At least one that I can fathom.

(AVON turns to STRATOX and FEYN.)

AVON: I'm going in. You follow some distance behind me and keep watch.

(AVON runs towards the hill. STRATOX and FEYN share uncertain looks.)

36. SPACE

(The hospital ship departs from Keiten One.)

37. HOSPITAL SHIP COCKPIT

(A cramped and isolated room with two seats for pilots, occupied by TARRANT, DAYNA and ORAC. The latter is on DAYNA's lap. TARRANT is hunched over the controls, which provide the only illumination in the room.)

TARRANT: There it is. Coordinates 3... 7... 14. Orac, confirm that location and status of the Scorpio is unchanged.

ORAC: The Scorpio has not been moved since previous check-in. However, it's impossible to verify its current condition from this distance due to the deactivation of the Slave computer.

DAYNA: Deactivation?

ORAC: Yes. The ship is on manual.

TARRANT: Avon may have gotten himself into trouble.

DAYNA: Perhaps if we pulled off a daring rescue, that might humble him.

TARRANT: I never took you for a dreamer, Dayna.

DAYNA: What if Avon really doesn't want us back? What if he'll try to take Orac by force?

TARRANT: No. Vila is right. Orac is worth more than any crew or ship. He will not risk damaging it. It's what will happen after we get Scorpio back that concerns me. We'll have to keep a much stronger eye on Avon from now on.

DAYNA: But what if you're wrong? Shouldn't we at least consider the possibility that we have to fight?

TARRANT: I suppose it wouldn't hurt to have an ace up our sleeve.

(TARRANT activates an intercom.)

TARRANT: Vila, Soolin...

38. HOSPITAL SHIP INTERIOR

(Same as before, sans patients and nurses. Many of the beds still have messy covers on them due to the quick departure. VILA and SOOLIN are lounging on separate beds. SOOLIN is cleaning her pistol.)

TARRANT: (vo) Search through the ship, find if there's anything we can use as a weapon if things should get ugly.

VILA: Don't our guns still work?

39. HOSPITAL SHIP COCKPIT

(TARRANT rolls his eyes)

TARRANT: I mean if we should come come under attack from the Scorpio. There's always a risk, Vila.

40. HOSPITAL SHIP INTERIOR

TARRANT: (vo) Besides, it'll give you something to do.

VILA: Who says I wasn't doing something?

(SOOLIN puts her gun back together and jumps out of bed.)

SOOLIN: Come on, Vila! Let's go play with scalpels!

VILA: Fine.

41. SPACE

(The hospital ship continues its journey.)

42. HOSPITAL SHIP INTERIOR

(Much more of a mess than before. VILA and SOOLIN have taken apart bulkheads, metal floorboards. A few beds are torn out of their sockets. Wires hang everywhere. Now they both sit in the midst of it all, tired.)

SOOLIN: It would seem there weren't any hidden blasters being smuggled after all.

VILA: Or recreational drugs. What's the galaxy come to?

(VILA stands up and presses an intercom button on the wall.)

VILA: Unless you want to shoot penicillin at Avon, we're not gonna stand much of a chance in a firefight. Vila out.

43. HOSPITAL SHIP COCKPIT

(A concerned TARRANT activates his intercom.)

TARRANT: There's nothing?

44. HOSPITAL SHIP INTERIOR

VILA: Nothing! A few laser tools, though not substantially powerful. Regenerative plasma. Knockout gas, but without a teleport, I don't see how that's gonna help. Uh, a portable X-ray scanner, some acid...

45. HOSPITAL SHIP COCKPIT

VILA: (vo) Blankets, pillows, hospital food...

DAYNA: Hold on, did you say X-ray scanner?

46. HOSPITAL SHIP INTERIOR

(VILA holds up a pistol-shaped device with an emitter instead of a muzzle.)

VILA: Yeah?

47. HOSPITAL SHIP COCKPIT

DAYNA: That's it. Bring it in.

VILA: (vo) Alright.

TARRANT: What have you got in mind?

DAYNA: X-ray scanners emit electromagnetic radiation. Before failsafes were invented, they had to be used exclusively in environments with specially protected electronics, to avoid frying them. If we take those failsafes off and boost the power tenfold, we could theoretically incapacitate any ship that comes into the emitter's radius.

TARRANT: Including our own.

DAYNA: Yes, well...

ORAC: Tarrant is correct. All systems aboard this ship must be shut down completely until the enemy ship is disabled. I, too, must suspend all functions. You would not be able to use my abilities until I've been reactivated in a fully equipped laboratory.

DAYNA: There's oxygen tanks onboard, we'd be able to cope without life support for a short while.

TARRANT: Right. Let's hope it won't come to that.

(DAYNA smirks.)

TARRANT: What's so funny?

DAYNA: Radiation, for space combat. Avon was onto something after all.

48. DARK AND STORMY NIGHT

(AVON runs through the shadowy jungle, stumbling through thick bushes. He trips on a branch and falls on his face as rain splatters down mercilessly. The miserable experience only fuels his resolve. Brushing wet hair away from his face, AVON rises again and continues until he's near the wooden construction. The same figure that we saw before is sitting up on a branch, tying vines around the trunks, confusing AVON further. He is an effete man with long white hair, in his 30s. He is DEVAN.)

AVON: (loudly) Nice weather for some handywork, isn't it?

(AVON's voice catches the man's attention. Before he can do anything, AVON kicks the log closest to him, unbalancing the structure and causing it to break apart. With a scream, DEVAN falls to the ground in front of AVON. Dispassionately, AVON walks up to the fallen man, looming over him.)

AVON: What was that supposed to be? A castle for squirrels?

(DEVAN smiles. Suddenly, his identical twin KEVAN emerges from a thicket and blows a thorn on AVON's neck from a reed. Shocked, AVON pulls it out, noticing the pink poison on it. Snarling briefly, AVON crumples onto the ground, unconscious. KEVAN helps his twin up. A doorway materialises out of nowhere, and the QUEEN walks into the forest with an umbrella to cover her from the rain. STRATOX and FEYN emerge from their hiding place as well.)

STRATOX: Ahh, lovely!

FEYN: You can't be serious. All that, and he gets killed by a little stick?

STRATOX: He lost! Simple as that. And I'm starving.

FEYN: He's more than fit! The Honeycomb has employed far lesser men. (glaring at STRATOX)

QUEEN: Kevan? Devan?

(They nod.)

QUEEN: Very well. I will grant this indulgence.

STRATOX: (groaning) You don't suppose he'd notice a missing appendix?

(The QUEEN takes a small injector out of her pocket and hands it to FEYN, who presses it against AVON's neck, causing him to gasp and wake up.)

FEYN: You're alright. The dizziness is normal.

AVON: I thought I was dead.

STRATOX: No such luck.

(KEVAN and DEVAN help AVON stand up.)

QUEEN: Your new crew vouched for you. I am satisfied that your reputation is not ill-deserved.

AVON: I'm satisfied. However, if you put my life at risk again, I will kill you. I'd prefer to see my thief from a safe distance.

QUEEN: (pauses) I'm afraid we couldn't find a suitable candidate in time.

AVON: I need a thief.

QUEEN: One will be provided. Have no fear of that. There is simply a delay.

AVON: Then there will be a delay in my payment.

QUEEN: Of course. Perhaps you'll take your crew to see your ship. You will be contacted once a thief is found.

(AVON motions for his crew to follow him and leads them outside through the doorway.)

49. HONEYCOMB STATION

(AVON and his crew stride through the corridors with purpose. Several of the Honeycomb inhabitants, dressed in garments of all sorts, turn to look at them with curiosity and admiration. Eventually, they reach the airlock of the Scorpio, which is open much to AVON's bemusement.)

STRATOX: What's the matter?

AVON: I suspect my thief has arrived. You see, I sealed my ship.

(AVON takes a step towards the airlock, but is stopped by KEVAN and DEVAN, who go in first, both now armed with pistols. AVON draws his own, having retrieved it in the interim. DEVAN reappears at the airlock, and nods.)

50. SCORPIO FLIGHT DECK

(SLAVE is static. One of the seats is filled by LUNA, a female midget in a jumpsuit.)

LUNA: Which one of you is Avon?

AVON: I am Avon.

LUNA: Luna.

(AVON heads to examine SLAVE as KEVAN, DEVAN, STRATOX and FEYN explore the flight deck.)

LUNA: Nice custom lock. Who made it?

AVON: Why are my computer's circuits burnt out?

LUNA: You programmed it to be hostile against intruders.

AVON: There's a switch to manual button right where you're sitting.

LUNA: I was also told to prepare for the possibility of you not joining us. The Honeycomb has its own reliable computers. We'd have removed this... whatever it is. But from what I've heard, you won't have much trouble repairing it.

(A chime rings over the deck.)

FEYN: The central station is signalling us.

AVON: Put it on the main viewer.

(The screen activates, displaying the QUEEN in her office.)

QUEEN: Is everything in order?

AVON: Quite.

QUEEN: Then we await payment of 10 million credits, and a personal promise to put these fine men and women to fantastic use.

AVON: You won't forget us. If you'll excuse me.

(AVON motions for FEYN to deactivate the screen.)

AVON: Kevan, seal the airlock again, will you?

(KEVAN and DEVAN share uncertain looks.)

STRATOX: What have you got in mind?

AVON: I must admit to a small deception. I haven't got a credit onboard. However, I do know a place where we can get some, if you're willing to help me. And I'm just not speaking of 10 million, but rather a lot more.

FEYN: The Honeycomb will never let you go without payment. And this old bucket of bolts hasn't got a snowball's chance in hell against the fleet of ships here.

AVON: Oh, but it does. I'm willing to bet that this bucket of bolts will outrun them all, racers included. Check the engine power if you don't believe me.

(FEYN runs a diagnostic.)

AVON: Well? What'll it be?

FEYN: Kevan, do as he says.

51. SPACE

(The Scorpio retracts its transfer tube and speeds away from the Honeycomb Station.)

52. SPACE

(The hospital ship continues flying.)

53. HOSPITAL SHIP COCKPIT

(Same as before)

ORAC: The Scorpio is now on the move. It will be necessary to make navigational adjustments if you still wish to rendezvous with it.

TARRANT: Give me its present destination.

ORAC: Present destination - 0, 0, 0 on the galactic map.

(TARRANT and DAYNA are surprised.)

DAYNA: Earth!

54. SCORPIO FLIGHT DECK

AVON: The Federation Bank! The heart of the empire and its economy. The most secure place on the entire planet. The High Council lives on top of it, like birds warming their young. The air inside is worth more than the prices on all our heads. Utterly impenetrable. But I did it! I was there.

LUNA: And obviously you failed, or else we wouldn't be here.

AVON: Right. I failed. However, I did not waste the time I spent there. I'm confident that with the program (he takes out a small cassette from his pocket and displays it) my computer has prepared for me, as well as stronger backup from you, performing high speed embezzlement of the five hundred million credits that have so patiently been waiting there for me all these years will be... achievable.

STRATOX: So what do we have to do?

AVON: Feyn, give us the time of arrival.

FEYN: (reading off instruments) Twelve hours and eighteen minutes on present course and speed.

AVON: We'll slip quietly into the solar system, and conceal the Scorpio behind the dark side of the moon. It's unlikely we'll be able to remain undetected for long, so our cover story will be engine failure. It's trivial enough for the Federation to take their time coming to the rescue. By the time they do, we'll be long gone.

STRATOX: What if they send an inspection crew?

AVON: Blow them to smithereens... and say the neutron blasters are malfunctioning also.

55. HOSPITAL SHIP INTERIOR

(VILA and SOOLIN are sitting amidst junk. SOOLIN is playing with her pistol again, switching the cartridges. VILA holds the X-ray scanner. SOOLIN's activity catches his attention, and he arrives at a realization.)

VILA: Soolin!

SOOLIN: What?

VILA: Did I ever tell you you're a genius?

SOOLIN: (coy) It's never gonna work, Vila.

VILA: We won't know until we've tried it! Orac can help!

SOOLIN: … what?

VILA: Think about it! If your gun works with all those different cartridges, why not the x-ray scanner? I mean, how much power do you think a brainy computer like Orac has to use?

SOOLIN: Yes, I suppose there's a chance.

(VILA switches on the intercom)

VILA: Tarrant, Dayna, I may have a solution!

56. HOSPITAL SHIP FLIGHT DECK

(same as before)

VILA: (vo) If we hook Orac up to the x-ray scanner, that should provide us with the power to disable any ship that tries to come close!

ORAC: Out of the question! The electromagnetic field would irreparably wreck all of my active circuitry!

TARRANT: Well, what if we disconnected you from your power cells? Simply use them and cut out the middleman?

ORAC: It's theoretically feasible, but until they can be replaced, you would no longer have access to my functions. And the probability of your survival without my assistance is-

(TARRANT removes the key.)

TARRANT: Yes, thank you for your vote of confidence, Orac. (to DAYNA) Get this on a surgical table and see if you can remove those power cells, will you?

DAYNA: Right.

(DAYNA leaves with ORAC, leaving TARRANT looking through the window into space, pensively.)

57. SPACE

(The Scorpio arrives behind the dark side of the moon. Earth is visible in the distance.)

58. SCORPIO FLIGHT DECK

(STRATOX, AVON and LUNA are kitting themselves out in winter gear, helped by KEVAN, DEVAN and FEYN respectively. STRATOX's parka is several sizes too small for him, and FEYN tries in vain to zip it up.)

STRATOX: I say, for the heist of the century, this feels like a bit of a rush job.

FEYN: I'm sure we can buy you a nice fur coat once this is over.

STRATOX: Hah! I always did fancy myself a bearskin.

FEYN: Won't your wives miss you?

STRATOX: Oh, I imagine they're throwing a fit right now. But they'll be alright. The Honeycomb wastes no asset. And when I come back loaded, I imagine I'll buy half the place to myself. That should drop their pretty jaws.

AVON: Are we all ready?

(STRATOX grabs the zipper and finally pulls it over his stomach, snapping it in the process. He throws the broken piece away.)

STRATOX: As ready as I'll ever be.

(AVON, LUNA and STRATOX step onto the teleport platform. KEVAN takes up position at the controls.)

AVON: I'm not worried about what happens when we get down there, but I expect this ship to be here when we're ready to leave. That, Feyn, will be your responsibility.

FEYN: (salutes) I won't let you down, skipper.

AVON: Avon will do.

(AVON nods to KEVAN, who activates the controls. AVON, LUNA and STRATOX teleport.)

FEYN: Good luck, Avon.

59. EARTH, SNOWY MOUNTAINTOP

(A cold snowstorm blows through the air, rendering visibility minimal. A large castle protrudes from the side of the mountain with a stone wall surrounding it, and an energy field covering the top. The only way in is through a gateway in the center. AVON, STRATOX and LUNA teleport on a slope not far from the castle. LUNA immediately sinks chest-deep into the snow, so STRATOX picks her up and lets her climb up to his shoulders.)

AVON: (shouting over the wind) This way!

(STRATOX and LUNA follow AVON, trudging through the snow to the gateway of the barrier. There are a pair of steel doors and on the stone wall right next to it, a small panel. AVON presses his hand against it, and the steel doors open, allowing them in.)

60. FEDERATION CASTLE, ENTRANCE COURTYARD

(The gardens are covered in a thin layer of frost, but the walls and the energy field keep the hail out. A series of pathways heads out from the steel doors, but the main one leads to the actual castle entrance, a pair of intricately carved wooden doors. Several Federation patrols run around the vast estate, four guards are stationed in front of the entrance.)

LUNA: How did we get in?

AVON: I pushed the doorbell. There are many other defences the teleport bypassed. To get this far, we would have to be Federation.

(STRATOX puts LUNA down. The trio walk through the estate at a steady pace, ignoring the Federation patrols. At the entrance, they stop in front of the guards.)

AVON: We've come to make a deposit.

(The guards bow and open the door for them, the trio walk in.)

61. FEDERATION CASTLE, ENTRANCE HALL

(The room inside is vast, covered in marble and dotted with pillars and fountains. Several cameras are attached to the walls. There's a crowd of rich Alpha class civilians chatting amidst all of this. AVON grins vacuously.)

STRATOX: (whispering) Who are these people?

AVON: Guests of the High Council. Leaders, philanthropists, bootlickers... thieves. Just smile and act like you belong.

LUNA: You don't seem to find that difficult.

AVON: I'm thinking of what we're after.

(STRATOX and LUNA beam as well. The trio make their way to the other end of the hall where they enter an elevator.)

62. FEDERATION CASTLE ELEVATOR

AVON: Federation Bank, subfloor sixteen.

(The elevator goes up.)

AVON: I said subfloor, you subservient subintelligence.

LUNA: Relax. Someone just got ahead of us.

(The trio wait until the elevator stops. Three clerks step in. One, named ROSSIKER, is shocked to see AVON. AVON quickly shakes his hand.)

AVON: Hello, Rossiker. Good to see you again. Why don't you introduce your friends?

ROSSIKER: Um... these are my colleagues. Keet, and Wray.

(AVON shakes their hands as well.)

AVON: An absolute pleasure. Rossiker and I used to work together, but I've gone up in the world since then. No offense, Rossiker. I simply couldn't help the oppurtunities that availed to me, I'm sure I'll be happy to make it up to you. You won't mind if I borrow him for a moment? We won't be long at all.

(The other clerks, barely listening, shrug and leave the elevator. AVON closes the door again.)

ROSSIKER: Avon-.

AVON: Shut up. A squeak out of you and you're dead. (turns to LUNA) I'm sorry, Luna, but I'm afraid you may have well been made obsolete on this mission. (back to ROSSIKER) You will escort us to the main computer. Any questions, we are engineers under your supervision.

(AVON pushes one of the buttons, which gets the elevator moving again. It opens on subfloor sixteen.)

63. FEDERATION CASTLE, SUBFLOOR SIXTEEN

(This floor is much more modest and austere. The walls and pillars are dull grey stone, and there are no fountains. Cameras still hang everywhere. There is a large booth on the opposite end of the vast space, with a short line of Alpha grade citizens waiting to get to the bank teller. Two large doors on each side of the booth are guarded by Federation troopers. ROSSIKER leads AVON, LUNA and STRATOX to one of these doors and runs a card over the security scanner. The door opens and all four walk through with no issue from the troopers.)

64. FEDERATION CASTLE, CORRIDOR

(The corridor, built out of the same grey stone as the hall, leads to a turn in either direction in the distance. The group continue walking.)

ROSSIKER: Avon, what are you doing? It didn't work the first time, it won't work now!

(AVON grabs ROSSIKER and points a gun at his chest.)

AVON: Funny. I was just about to say the same thing. But I'm sure you'll have heard, my patience just isn't what it used to be.

(AVON pushes ROSSIKER forward and they keep walking.)

65. SPACE

(The Scorpio still floats behind the moon.)

66. SCORPIO FLIGHT DECK

(KEVAN and DEVAN are meditating on the floor in front of the consoles. FEYN is monitoring the systems.)

FEYN: Hey! Kevan, Devan! Come look at this!

(KEVAN and DEVAN spring up simultaneously and rush over to FEYN to look at her screen, which displays the moon, the Scorpio and another shape drawing closer, which then begins to reverbate.)

FEYN: That's an emergency medical shuttle. And it's calling us!

(FEYN switches on the ship's communicator)

TARRANT: (vo) This is Del Tarrant calling Scorpio. Del Tarrant calling Scorpio. Avon, are you there?

FEYN: Tarrant! It's his old crew! They must be trying to get the ship back.

(KEVAN and DEVAN stare at FEYN, waiting for orders.)

FEYN: If Avon had been expecting them, he would've told us. Is the force field around the Bank still up?

(DEVAN checks one of the screens and nods.)

FEYN: Then we can't even ask him. We can't afford anyone getting in the way. Man the neutron blasters.

(KEVAN takes over the weapons console.)

67. HOSPITAL SHIP FLIGHT DECK

(TARRANT and DAYNA are still in their seats. VILA and SOOLIN have squeezed themselves into the room. ORAC is sitting on top of the control panels. His innards have been pulled out of the plastic container and wired into the x-ray scanner in DAYNA's hands.)

TARRANT: They're charging weapons!

VILA: Use it! Now, before they get a chance to fire on us!

(TARRANT hurriedly switches everything off. VILA and SOOLIN light torches to illuminate the scanner.)

68. SCORPIO FLIGHT DECK

FEYN: They're gone. The target's completely disappeared.

(DEVAN taps her shoulder and points towards the viewer, where they see the hospital ship drifting towards the Scorpio, with no lights emanating from her whatsoever.)

FEYN: Must be a power failure. Kevan, just fire where the detectors last saw them. They're sitting ducks!

69. HOSPITAL SHIP FLIGHT DECK

VILA: What are you waiting for? Push the button already!

DAYNA: We have to make sure we're in range!

VILA: We'll be space debris long before that!

(Crossing her fingers, DAYNA activates the x-ray scanner, which promptly explodes.)

SOOLIN: It must've overloaded.

VILA: Did it work, though?

TARRANT: Well, we're still here. Let's find out.

(TARRANT restores power to the ship.)

TARRANT: Not picking up anything from the Scorpio. It worked, alright. Beginning docking sequence.

70. SPACE

(The hospital ship docks with the Scorpio.)

71. HOSPITAL SHIP INTERIOR

(TARRANT, DAYNA and SOOLIN are loading their pistols. VILA is holding the mess that is ORAC.)

VILA: Can't we just let them freeze-dry a bit? It'd be more humane. And if we storm in like that, they'll have the advantage!

TARRANT: If Avon is on the ship, I want him alive. Besides, we're in the heart of Federation space. We can't just hope they won't come see what all the fuss is eventually. (to DAYNA and SOOLIN) Are you ready?

DAYNA: Ready.

SOOLIN: Open it.

(TARRANT nods and opens the airlock with a hiss. With a remote device, he also opens the Scorpio's door and nods towards DAYNA, who sends her trademark grenade-on-wheels in there, which explodes on the other side. TARRANT, DAYNA and SOOLIN move in through the smoke.)

72. SCORPIO FLIGHT DECK

(It is dark. The main light comes from the hospital ship through the open airlock. TARRANT, DAYNA, SOOLIN and VILA walk into the flight deck. TARRANT and DAYNA are side by side when KEVAN drops on them from the ceiling. SOOLIN tries to shoot KEVAN, but DEVAN stands up from behind the seats to take aim at her. VILA throws ORAC at DEVAN, causing him to miss and hit SOOLIN in the leg. VILA grabs DEVAN's gun and tries to shoot him, but the weapon doesn't fire.)

VILA: Eh?

(DEVAN smiles and walks towards him menacingly, but VILA pulls out his own pistol and kills him. DAYNA snaps KEVAN's neck.)

TARRANT: Vila, with me! We'll check the engine room. Dayna, get the medkit, look after Soolin!

(As TARRANT and VILA run off, DAYNA takes a medkit attached to the wall behind some wiring and examines SOOLIN's leg with an x-ray scanner.)

DAYNA: No bones broken. You got lucky.

SOOLIN: Yes, I feel so blessed.

(TARRANT and VILA get back to the flight deck.)

TARRANT: There's no one else aboard. Right, let's get all this running again, shall we?

73. SPACE

(FEYN is climbing on the hull of the Scorpio in a spacesuit.)

74. FEDERATION CASTLE, BANK COMPUTER CONTROL ROOM

(A large, round, bright white room with one giant screen dominating, calculations running across it like mathematical blackboards come to life. Several technicians are working on the computer controls. On the opposite end of the room is a balcony, where ROSSIKER, AVON, LUNA and STRATOX emerge and take one of the two flights of stairs down. STRATOX shoots the cameras, gaining the technicians' attention)

STRATOX: Please be so kind as to not move an inch. This is a robbery, you see.

AVON: (to STRATOX) Perhaps you can make them a cup of tea as well.

TECHNICIAN: Rossiker!

ROSSIKER: I'm sorry, sir.

(As STRATOX and LUNA gather the technicians in one place, AVON accesses the computer and inserts the cassette tape into it. The calculations on the screen freeze.)

AVON: It's not working. (to ROSSIKER) What's happening?

TECHNICIAN: Don't tell him anything!

ROSSIKER: Sir, I don't see we have much of a choice.

AVON: You don't.

ROSSIKER: The security measures were tightened after your capture. The computer will only accept input from someone with recognised fingerprints.

AVON: Someone like you?

TECHNICIAN: No! Not on the scale you're trying. Only the Federation High Council can take so much money.

(AVON threatens the group with his pistol.)

ROSSIKER: He's lying! I can access the computer!

TECHNICIAN: Rossiker, you traitor!

AVON: Do it, and you might get out unmolested.

(ROSSIKER hurries over to the console and starts operating it with AVON watching over him. The calculations begin moving again.)

AVON: Yes! The upload has begun. Five hundred million credits, stolen right from under the High Council's noses. This is true power, the power of the free and capable mind. Let them have their empire. Every second I live, I win.

TECHNICIAN: You'll never get away!

LUNA: Are you a betting man?

(The calculations turn a red color, and alarms start ringing throughout the bank.)

75. FEDERATION CASTLE ENTRANCE HALL

(The confused Alpha grade citizens are in shock and confusion as red lights flash over the room.)

76. FEDERATION CASTLE, CORRIDOR

(Federation troopers run through the corridors, now a red hue)

77. FEDERATION CASTLE, BANK COMPUTER CONTROL ROOM

(AVON aims a gun at ROSSIKER.)

AVON: I watched you operate those controls.

TECHNICIAN: We have a security code that enables access, but also alerts the guards to break-in. Your incursion was rather textbook, I'm afraid.

ROSSIKER: I always thought you'd come back to finish the job. I knew how much it meant to you. When I saw you on the camera feed, I knew what I had to do.

(AVON draws closer to ROSSIKER and knocks him unconscious.)

AVON: Until next time, then.

(In rage, AVON wrecks the computer.)

78. EARTH, SNOWY MOUNTAINTOP

(Around the walls of the Federation Castle, the force field dissipates.)

79. FEDERATION CASTLE, BANK COMPUTER CONTROL ROOM

STRATOX: We can't just leave empty-handed! Isn't there a safe or a vault or something here?

AVON: A vault?

STRATOX: Anything with real credits or, you know, gold bars, that sort of thing?

(AVON snaps his fingers.)

AVON: Good man! The vault's the last place they'll expect us to go! Follow me!

80. FEDERATION CASTLE, CORRIDOR

(AVON, STRATOX and LUNA rush through the corridors.)

81. FEDERATION CASTLE, VAULT

(They rush into a room with one massive steel door on the other side, locked. There's another tunnel leading off to further vaults.)

LUNA: Finally! I was born for this!

STRATOX: We might not get five hundred million, but we'll get enough to warm the Queen's heart, my friend. And weigh our wallets.

(LUNA starts working on the door, whilst STRATOX and AVON each guard one of the entrances.)

TARRANT: (vo) Avon? Avon, are you there? Respond.

AVON: (whispering) Tarrant?

TARRANT: (vo) Avon, listen carefully. The crew that you are with are planning to betray you. They're gonna sell you out to the Federation. You're falling into Servalan's trap!

AVON: Are you sure?

TARRANT: (vo) Yes! We only just barely got the Scorpio back from them! They were about to broadcast the location of Xenon and Orac to the High Council! You have to teleport, now.

AVON: Stand by.

(AVON shoots STRATOX in the back.)

LUNA: What's happening?! Are they here?

AVON: Keep working!

82. SCORPIO FLIGHT DECK

(Power has been restored, although SLAVE is still inoperative. A series of cables lead from the Scorpio consoles through the airlock into the hospital ship.)

VILA: He's not gonna fall for it.

TARRANT: Patience, Vila.

VILA: I tell you, he's not gonna fall for it!

(With a spark, the cables are cut. DAYNA runs to investigate and sees the airlock on the hospital ship has shut.)

DAYNA: Someone's gotten into the hospital ship!

(DAYNA shuts the Scorpio airlock.)

83. SPACE

(The hospital ship moves away from the Scorpio)

84. SCORPIO FLIGHT DECK

DAYNA: They're getting away!

TARRANT: Leave it! We have enough power for now! Come on, Avon...

85. FEDERATION CASTLE, VAULT

LUNA: I've done it, I've done it!

(The vault door opens and shines a brilliant golden gleam upon the room, hinting at the treasures that lie within. LUNA heads in, marvelling at the shelves of gold bars around her. AVON runs after her, but stops in front of the vault door.)

LUNA: Look, Avon! All we've got to do is grab a few and teleport up! Come on! What are you waiting for? Avon?

AVON: A trap...?

LUNA: Avon! This is it! This is what we've all been waiting for! This is your gold!

(AVON stares longingly towards the Fort Knox-esque gold inside, but raises the teleport bracelet to his mouth.)

AVON: Get me out of here.

(AVON teleports away. The Federation troopers storm in from both corridors. LUNA raises her hands awkwardly as they take aim at her.)

86. SCORPIO FLIGHT DECK

(AVON materialises on the teleport platform. The crew approach him uncertainly. AVON holds TARRANT at gunpoint.)

TARRANT: Avon?

AVON: I betrayed you. Do you expect me to believe you won't do the same?

TARRANT: We won't if you won't. And anyway, you would've come back to us eventually. (he motions towards ORAC)

AVON: (lowering gun) What the hell have you done to it?

DAYNA: What we had to.

TARRANT: There's a few power cells missing, but you should be able to put it all back together. It's thanks to Vila here that we even got back. He overheard your scheming with Orac.

VILA: Don't feel bad. You're only human.

AVON: I... was outwitted by Vila?

(VILA smiles. AVON smiles too. Then AVON punches him in the face. TARRANT steps between the two.)

SOOLIN: Avon!

AVON: Don't worry. A petty impulse. But then I am only human.

VILA: (rubbing his cheek) Now I'm not convinced.

AVON: Is anything on this ship still working?

(The crew reassume their usual positions.)

TARRANT: The engines are.

AVON: Then let's get out of here.

VILA: Back to Xenon at last? It's about time. I'm dying of thirst.

AVON: Don't be stupid. Coordinates three-seven-fourteen. Check with the galactic map. We have some unfinished business.

87. SPACE

(The Scorpio leaves the solar system.)

88. SPACE

(The Honeycomb Station floats in space, same as before.)

89. HONEYCOMB STATION, QUEEN'S OFFICE

(The QUEEN is examining some papers. A communicator chime is heard. The QUEEN switches her intercom on.)

UNDERLING: (vo) My lady, the Scorpio has reappeared on our scanners.

QUEEN: Make contact immediately, and send it through to my personal viewing screen.

UNDERLING: (vo) That's the thing, my lady. They're not responding. And they are on an intercept course, at Time Distort Twelve. They're heading directly for us.

(The QUEEN is alarmed.)

QUEEN: Then send out ships and destroy the infernal thing! Our Honeycomb cannot be threatened.

UNDERLING: (vo) At once, ma'am!

90. SCORPIO FLIGHT DECK

(On the dark flight deck, AVON is holding Scorpio's x-ray scanner, hooked up to ORAC. The others are staring at him pensively.)

SOOLIN: (looking through the window) A few of their ships are moving out there. They'll try and stop us.

TARRANT: This is insane, Avon! They're just criminals like any other! It'd be a massacre!

AVON: They are not criminals like any other. They are criminals, who tried to cheat me with the Federation.

(AVON stands up and offers TARRANT the scanner.)

AVON: Isn't that what you said? A trap by Servalan. Their people spent time in my ship. With that time, they could've easily broadcast the location of the Base to their masters. Unless we destroy them all now, they may still carry that information on. Our safety and security would be jeopardized. Were you lying to me, Tarrant?

TARRANT: What?

91. SPACE

(The Honeycomb spacecraft approach Scorpio.)

92. SCORPIO FLIGHT DECK

AVON: Was there a trap?

TARRANT: Yes. I had to stop the crew, to save you. We need you.

AVON: Then you agree with me. They are a danger, they must be killed. You will kill them.

(AVON thrusts the scanner onto TARRANT's chest, leaving it in his hands. TARRANT looks at the crew, despondent. None of them help him.)

AVON: Were you lying to me, Tarrant? Did you trick me to get me back onboard this ship? I was so close. Were you lying to me?

TARRANT: No.

AVON: Then get on with it. Of course, if you did lie, those lives would be on you. But since you didn't...

(TARRANT pushes the button, making the device explode.)

92. SPACE

(Outside, the light disappears from the ships as well as Honeycomb Station.)

93. SCORPIO FLIGHT DECK

(The Scorpio powers up again.)

AVON: Status of enemy ships and the station?

SOOLIN: All negative.

AVON: Tarrant, would you say we're clear to fire?

TARRANT: Yes.

DAYNA: We only have torpedoes. The neutron blasters still need work.

AVON: Wide spread, then.

94. SPACE

(The Scorpio fires rockets, completely obliterating the ships and the Honeycomb Station.)

95. SCORPIO FLIGHT DECK

(TARRANT stares at the destruction on the viewer.)

AVON: Right. Let's not hang around, shall we? Set in a new course. We need to find some power cells to replace these and get Orac working again. Then and only then do we return to Xenon.

VILA: Find power cells? With a half crippled ship?

AVON: And a half crippled crew, but things still need doing.

SOOLIN: I'm detecting a medical shuttle approaching.

TARRANT: (interrupting AVON, who was about to say something) Let it be. They'll learn soon enough there's nobody to save here.